Positive Discipline for Children with Special Needs by Jane Nelsen

Author:Jane Nelsen [Nelsen, Jane, Ed.D.; Foster, Steven, L.C.S.W.; Raphael, Arlene, M.S.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-58983-5
Publisher: Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony
Published: 2011-03-07T16:00:00+00:00

Create a Connection Before Correction

Another Positive Discipline tool that will help you to get into your child’s world is “connection before correction.” If you wish to provide corrective feedback to your child for a mistake she has made, engage with her in a kind and loving way before correcting her. Get close to her and down to her eye level so she feels your connection and sees that you’re addressing her. Speak in a regular volume and in a neutral or cheerful tone of voice. What’s most important in the use of this tool is that the message of love get through and that your child feel your love for her as much as or more than she feels your concern about the mistake she has made.

Because Benjy required considerable adult guidance to accomplish many tasks, he often needed corrective feedback for the innocent mistakes he made when attempting to carry out a task on his own. Benjy’s instructors viewed his mistakes as opportunities for him to learn. They also saw his mistakes as opportunities for them to learn how to do a better job of providing him with the support he needed and of not reducing their supportive assistance too quickly. Overall, his instructors interacted with Benjy in a warm and upbeat fashion. They believed that maintaining a loving and supportive relationship with him was a top priority and that correction would be helpful to him only in the context of a loving connection.

When you use the nine Positive Discipline tools described above for understanding and getting into your child’s world, you will discover that you are able to respond to the challenges you face with your child with greater understanding and increased flexibility. In addition, used on a regular basis with your child, these tools will form the foundation of a relationship built on closeness, trust, and mutual respect.

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